Emily vs. Centipede

So I woke up around 5am today.

And saw this thing flailing around in my shower.

In case you're wondering, that is an African Black Centipede. They are deadly to children and the elderly, and also can cause anaphylactic shock in anyone allergic to bees. Other than that, they cause severe pain, swelling, fever, sweating, and weakness. And at 5am, I don't really feel like feeling any of those things.

Being the procrastinator that I am, I put a bucket on top of it and decided not to deal with it until I got home, hoping that it would die of starvation or drowning while I was gone. Unfortunately, when I got home, that was not the case. I very slowly and carefully removed the bucket to see it just sitting there chilling, as if to say "Hey! I'm going to avenge your murder attempt now!"

I quickly replaced the bucket, and went and got the longest thing I could think of, a coat hanger, to move it out of my shower and into the floor, where i put the bucket on top of it again and scooted it over close to the door.

I opened the door and yelled.

"JAAAAAACCCKKKKKSSSSOOOOOOOONNNNN...????"

....

"THERE'S A CENTIPEDE IN MY ROOOOMM I THINNNKK..."

....

"COME KILL IT PLEEEEASE?"

I know this is a bit off-color for me. I have been known to seek out snakes and bring them home to my poor mother, or other unsuspecting people who happen to be nearby. I didn't run when my brother and I uncovered a nest of baby black widows outside at the barn. I even worked as a snake handler in the reptile and insect room at the Nature Center when I was twelve. But this was an unwelcome surprise, and also I distinctly remember reading about centipedes in my "Most Venomous and Poisonous Animals" book that my parents gave me when I was seven (thanks Mom and Dad, although I'm sure you'd hoped I would never have to put that knowledge to use).

I went out in the hallway to see Jackson doing his homework at the table, headphones on. Deciding it was up to me, I went back into my room and picked up the coat hanger.

It was now or never. I removed the bucket.

I disposed of the body outside, as a warning to all other venomous creatures that might try to attack me at 5am. You've been warned.